Wow so a lot happened when I was in NYC having the time of my life while you chumps were sitting at home or, heaven forbid, working. Instead of trying to write a bunch of lame-o blogs as usual I thought I’d sum it all up in a celebrity update.

Celebrity Update May

• Let’s get this out of the way right now. Unless you live under a rock, or have been on vacation you should know that Dave Cook won American Idol officially last night, beating out rival David Archuleta, who lives in my home state. I’m pretty sure I know his sister. Anyway, everyone in Utah is just heart broken about it. I say, Dave Cook is sizzling hot and deserved to win.
• Kate Hudson and Lance Armstrong are currently dating. Looks like Kate and Owen Wilson are in splitsville and she decided to waste no time getting her cycle on (if you know what I mean) with the seven time Tour de France winner. Here’s hoping Owen Wilson doesn’t take it too hard.He’ll find someone else!
• Jessica Alba and Cash Warren got married! The very quiet nuptials apparently took place last Monday and the sad news is that her brother, reportedly, was not invited. But that’s okay because a lot of people weren’t invited.The two are expecting a daughter any day now!
• Ashlee Simpson and Pete Wentz got married last Friday. It was a fairly large white (HA!) wedding with like 150 guests. To prove just how classy this couple is they had his English bulldog named Hemingway as the ring-bearer. I’m just kidding, I know people do it all the time. I just think it’s dumb. But he wore a tux and we all know animals in outfits are hilarious and cute. Also, Ashlee Simpson’s money grubby daughter boobie handling dad sold her wedding pics to magazines for her. Awe, way to make the day special Dad.
• Ellen DeGeneres and her smokin’ hot girlfriend Portia de Rossi are planning to wed while the ban on marriage is down in California. My feeling about gay marriage is, why the heck not. I totally support this choice and hope the two continue to be happy together as a married couple.