I’m going on vacation to NYC baby! Are you jealous of my vacation? If you said no, you are wrong.

It’s me and my SO’s 5th wedding anniversary, (boy does time fly) and we are celebrating by vacationing at an over priced hotel in New York, namely The London in Manhattan.

We’re going to all the cool restaurants like Carnegie Deli, the World famous Ray’s Pizza, Serendipity 3. We’re going to a Broadway show, probably Mama Mia. We’re going to Coney Island, Rockafeller Center, Radio Hall City and Central Park. And here’s one of the best parts (according to my husband) we get to go to a Yankees vs. Mets game in Yankee Stadium. I’m excited mostly because he loves baseball so this is like a dream for him, but also because it’s the last seasons the Yankee’s will be playing in their original stadium because they are getting a new one!

I am SO excited about this, but here’s the bad news, depending on your state of mind: I won’t really be able to blog much. Awe. I’ll try to keep up, especially if something crazy happens and when I get back I’ll be my old bloggy self you know, which wasn’t that great to begin with.

C’est la vie!

What is it with the human race? We’re ALL jerks! I mean, it’s not enough that we have to evolve because being an ape is SO uncool. Then we have to get semi-intelligent brains (a bit more than the monkey brains) and what do we do with it? “Wow we have so much knowledge now, we should totally build a solely industrialist society and slowly, but surely, kill Mother Earth!” So we did that. Progress eh?

What made me think of this little gem of information to pass along to my sparkling blog readers? I frequent this gas station near my place of work. I don’t go there to get gas for my car because the prices are outrageous, but they have a nice little convenience store that has their own little sandwich making shop right in it. Let me tell you buddy, they have the BEST sandwiches.

Anyway, I also go there for the pleasant service. There are 3 of the cutest nicest old guys working there and you can tell they really enjoy it when they say hello and you, oh I dunno, actually answer back! Basically, I have a good time inserting myself in passing conversation with these guys.

I went to the gas station this morning to get a Frappuccino to start the day off with a bang and I talk with one of the guys and I take my stuff and he says “Now you have a great day ma’am.” And I turned around, you know, because we are human beings, and said, “Hey thanks! You too!” Exciting right?

Well I don’t know what crawled up in the behind of the girl next in line, but she was a jerk. She gets up to the counter and the guy is ringing up her stuff and says “Good morning!” (mind you it’s 9:30 so it’s not even early enough to reasonably be an ass because you are tired) and she’s silent and won’t look up. He says “Will you be needing a bag?” because she has a fountain drink and some gum so who knows? She replies, “Ugh! Nooooo. *giant sigh*” really loudly like . . . she really needs everyone to know she’s annoyed and being mean to a little old guy.

Really? She just couldn’t help but be a jerk? She couldn’t just say “Morning” and “No bag for me.” Would it have been SO much harder for her? Would it have made her day so terrible NOT to be a jerk? Sure I blog rudely about everyone behind their backs, but you better believe if I met Mariah Carey I’d be nice to her face. And besides this beautiful blog, I’m actually nice to people in general. So I just don’t get why people have to be mean for no apparent reason.

The point is kids, be nice. Be nice to the human beings around you (even if you are talking smack behind their backs) and that goes double for the elderly. People who are jerks to the elderly must pay in hell (unless it’s that guy hitting every kid walking past his house with a broom then you’re okay).

Happy Easter!

I hope everyone has a Hipity Hopity Easter holiday. What a giant Easter bunnie, colored eggs, ham and chocolate has to do with Christ rising from the dead is WAY beyond me. But you know, His birth is all about a fat guy sneaking into your house at night to give you presents you don’t deserve so . . .?

Go have an egg sandwich. That bunny is freaking creepy.

It’s February 29th and you know what that means . . . today doesn’t exist.

No seriously, this isn’t a joke. Today doesn’t really exist, because it’s leap year. But what is leap year?

According to Wikipedia, leap year is a year containing one or more extra days in order to keep the calendar year synchronized with the astronomical or seasonal year. For example, in the Gregorian calendar, February would have 29 days in a leap year instead of the usual 28. Because seasons and astronomical events do not repeat at an exact number of full days, a calendar which had the same number of days in each year would, over time, drift with respect to the event it was supposed to track. By occasionally inserting an additional day or month into the year, the drift can be corrected.

Ohhh so that’s what leap year is for. Yeah . . . nope, I still don’t get it.

Well whatever leap year is, whatever it does, it’s here. Since this day doesn’t officially exist I say it’s a “do whatever you want” say. Steal a car, kiss the first beautiful (or ugly if you swing that way) person you see, smack your arched enemy across the face. Because what are they going to do? Press charges?

If this day doesn’t exist you can go to the judge and say “When did this alleged crime take place?” He/She will say “Why on February 29th” and you can say “There are only 28 days in February! Zing!” And everyone, including the judge will probably stand up and cheer for you as you walk backwards slowly out of the court room.

Take advantage of this people, it’s not going to come back around for another 4 years.

PS My grandparents got married on February 29th, which is great for dudes because they don’t give a crap forget about anniversaries all the time, this way they have only one every 4 years!

No, this isn’t going to be some Earth shattering speech from me. Quite simply, I had a dream and I have to share it with you.

Let night I had a dream that I was at a funeral/wedding (I saw 27 Dresses last night, please don’t see it) in this beautiful but dark auditorium and my nephew was announcing to me that he was gay and I was introduced to his boyfriend (awesome piercings) and it was their wedding but they didn’t know whose funeral it also was. Then I got online to blog about it, (yeah you guys were in it!) and the front page story on every search engine and blog was Britney Spears Died* (but no it wasn’t her funeral I was at).

So my first thought is that I have to blog about it. I start to write how tragic it is that Britney Spears died because I thought she was just getting her life back together and we all had high hopes for her. However, when I started looking it up online again for more details, it was as if it never happened. There was no info on it. So for like the whole rest of the day I was trying to participate in the beautiful homosexual wedding and trying to find information on Britney Spears death.

When I woke up I wasn’t quite sure if my nephew was really gay (I wouldn’t have a problem if he was!) and if Britney Spears was really does (she’s not). Anyway, it was just really odd so I had to share.

*Disclaimer: Just so we are clear BRITNEY SPEARS IS NOT REALLY DEAD. What I described above is simply a morbid dream I had last night and nothing more.

You may, or may not, have noticed but I haven’t written in a few days. This unfortunate incident was due to simple USER ERROR.

In striving to make The Daily Brew Blog more blogger friendly and more visually stimulating to my captive audience (because I tied you up and put you in my basement?) I accidentally killed it.

By trying to make this transition by my little old self I made a minor mistake. How minor you might ask? I deleted an entire database of blog functionality which not only disabled me from being able to do anything on the admin side but disabled my readers abilities to, well, read.

Lucky for me I am pals with the smartest person on Earth, the Box of Coupons guy. He single handedly figured out what my user error was and quickly jumped on the problem fixing it right away. Daily Brew was dead without him. I’m telling you, the guy is a genius and his site, including his blog, is fantastic. So do me a favor and check it out. And don’t fight, there’s plenty of coupons to go around.

I really shouldn’t be allowed to touch my blog. Thanks for bearing with me through this time of user errorness.

Happy Valentines Day!

It’s a crappy holiday. It’s the same as any other day. It sends people spiraling out of control either by going crazy in debt to impress someone you might not even be with next year or by reminding everyone that doesn’t have someone that they don’t . . . have someone.

But I already got flowers and chocolates from the one I love on this, February 14th, Valentines Day, so, I guess I’m pretty important. I wonder what will be waiting for me when I get home. Bow chicka wow wow! (And I mean that in the most moral and chaste way possible.)

Happy New Year 2008!

Did you have fun last night? Have a little (BIG) party? Have a little (LOT) to drink? Bang any pots and pans or noise makers quiety (LOUDLY)? Hopefully ya’ll didn’t take a cue from the celebs and drink and drive. If you did I’m very disappointed in you. you could have killed me you selfish piece of work! If not, I’m very proud of you for being a responsible human being.

For now, rest your head, have some coffee, take some meds and sleep the day away. Today is a time to rest and reflect on all that naughty stuff you did last night. It’s time to decide if you regret it or not. And if you didn’t do anything you regret, you aren’t celebrating the New Year right!

P.S. Good for those people at Time Square in New York. Did you know this is the first year the New Year’s ball has gone green? That’s right, that famous ball that drops at midnight is full of energy efficient bulbs this year! Nice job!

I know no one is reading blogs on Christmas day (well maybe those who don’t celebrate Christmas, which is actually a lot of people, so if you are reading this on Christmas day, Hey what’s up?) but I just wanted to wish anyone who reads this blog Merry Christmas 2007!

Sure, you could read other blogs, and you probably do, but it makes me feel pretty dang special that you also take the time to read this sometimes!

So was Santa good to you this year? Or I guess I should be asking were you a good little girl/boy this year? I’m pretty sure he bases his gifts off that, unlike parents who give their angels and brats whatever they want no matter the attitude. But that’s cool, they’re parents. I was really nice this year, not nice like writing kind blog postings or anything, but nice like I didn’t kill or even maim anyone this year! No coal in the stocking for me.

Now about tonight. . .I know family can be a pain sometimes, but just remember, during the Holiday Season your supposed to try and be a little nicer, a little more giving and a little more patient. So give everyone a hug, put on a big smile, and then go home and complain. By that time you are off the hook and don’t have to see most of them again ’til next Christmas.

Me? I’m a little more lucky than that. For some reason the people in my family really love each other, are nice to each other and actually want to spend time together not only for Christmas but once a week for Sunday dinner. Talk about dysfunctional, thats just insane right?

While I don’t think any of them read my blog (except Jordan, you met him on his birthday December 3rd, you said Happy Birthday remember?) if they are, well “Merry Christmas kind family member who is reading my blog. It’s nice to see you around here and I hope you like what I got you for Christmas.

Happy Holidays and Merry Christmas 2007!

Merry Christmas EVE 2007. . .but WHAT ARE YOU DOING OUT OF BED?!?

Okay so it was noon on Christmas Eve when I posted this, but regardless of the time, it’s Christmas Eve and that means you’ve got to get your butt in bed. Don’t you know that Santa is coming? Were you raised by wolves?

You know if he comes to your house and you aren’t snug as a bug in a rug in bed and sleeping soundly with visions of sugary crap in your head he’ll skip right over you. Did you know that or no? Maybe you didn’t because you are still awake.

Go to bed! The sooner the better.

Santa has presents and I’m assuming you’ve been good. I’m going to bed now too, cuz I do not have a chimney so he’s going to need some extra time to figure out how to get in my house, without busting a window. We can’t have that happening like last year. But then, last year when Santa broke in he wasn’t dressed in his red outfit and he didn’t have a white beard. He just had a ski mask on and was wearing all black and instead of giving me stuff, he took a bunch of stuff, probably to give to little kids so that’s cool. Anything I can do to help. Humph. . .weird.

Anyway, do it. Go to bed and Merry Christmas EVE 2007. You can tell me what you got in the morning.