Still slow in news but heres a bit of a Celeb Update:

• Jessica Simpson is probably sad this week because her on again off again on again off again on again off again ex-boy toy John Mayer (gag) has been seen around town with Penélope Cruz. Jessica, don’t cry, Cruz has been passed around from guy to guy for years, it’s really just a pit stop for her. You’ll have another and another and another shot with John any day now. Chin up.

• The ever ingenious Cameron Diaz pretty much offended everyone in Peru by strutting around with a green purse with a red star that read “Serve the people” Chinese Communist leader Mao Zedong’s political slogan. The bad undoubtedly evoked painful memories for Peruvian people as his insurgency left 70,000 people dead in the 1980s and 90s. That would like me dressing up as a library and marching around Diaz’s house ignorantly reminding her how painful her stupidity is.

• Zach Braff, whom I’ve heard uses crappy pick-up lines and is an annoying boyfriend, may have a new gal hugging his arms. I guess people saw him canoodling with actress Shiri Appleby last Tuesday during a performance of “Romeo and Juliet” in Central Park. For those of you who don’t know Appleby she played Liz, the main character of that bad alien series called Rosewell that no one watched. Who cares how annoying and bachelor-ie Zach Braff is…he’s got that stupid cute working out for him.

• In a video from Rosie O’Donnells website she reports that she’ll more than likely turn down the hosting position for The Price is Right. She’d rather not cause an uproar by uprooting her family in a place they’ve grown to love. This contradicts recent actions where she has cat fights with co-hosts on live television or annoyingly combats The Donald with insults from both back and fourth. No, see that doesn’t cause an uproar for her family. I’m sure after those childish moves her kids aren’t getting made fun of in school, they’re probably getting pats on the back. Oy.

And thats your update, ya’ll.