Dear Douchebag Thugs,

This letter is in reference to an experience I just had. While filling up my car at the gas station last night at approximately 10, a douchebag thug (probably a friend of yours) attempted to approach me in a nervous and angry fashion and demand that I give him a ride somewhere. When I jumped in the car and refused he only kept coming at me, reaching his hand out to me and continuing to demand that he get in my car. Luckily I was able to step on the gas, get the hell out of there and call the cops on him.

My request to you is this: Don’t carjack me you carjacking douchebags. For that matter, don’t carjack anyone. And for non-carjacking douchebags reading this letter, please don’t buy any carjacking douchebags sob stories about how they had a ride but their ride took off and now they are just innocently looking for a ride somewhere, whatever direction you happen to be going. It’s a lie. They are trying to carjack you and probably murder you. Drive away from carjacking douchebags as fast as you possibly can no matter what they say.

DON’T FREAKING CARJACK ME.

Cordially, The Daily Brew Writer

Last semester (yes I’m a college student) I took a class called Blogging as a Social Force. I know, I took a blogging class in college which counts as 4 credits towards my bachelor’s degree and I still suck at blogging. Anyway, in this class we were shown an online video of something that has come to be known as “Last Lecture”, a lecture given by Randy Pausch, a computer science professor. It had absolutely nothing to do with blogging, but my professor felt it was important enough that we should spend a class and a half watching it. She was absolutely right.

In September 2006 Professor Randy Pausch was diagnosed with terminal pancreatic cancer and was given 3 to 6 months to live (he blew that out of the water!). Now in the education industry the idea of the “last lecture” is basically, if you knew you were dying and you only had one lecture left, what would it be? Most professors give the lecture as a hypothetical “what if I were about to die, this is what I’d tell you about” but for Professor Pausch the opportunity to lecture about the most important thing in his life before he passed on became a reality.

A month after his diagnosis at Carnegie Mellon University where he taught Professor Pausch gave his “Last Lecture”. Most of the audience wasn’t aware he had cancer until he announced it at the beginning of the lecture and then proceeded to do push-ups on the stage to show just how strong and healthy he was, no sympathy for him!

The words that he spoke after the announcement were insightful, funny, thought-provoking ones that have been an inspiration to millions. It was about his journey through life, his experiences, how he over came walls, made friends and achieved what he wanted in life and he was trying to show people how to do it too. In the end though, he revealed this “Last Lecture” wasn’t for the audience in front of him at all, but was intended as a legacy for his kids.

Now I don’t usually get too serious on the Daily Brew but Randy Pausch was an amazing guy whose lecture really touched me. Sadly Professor Randy Pausch died early this morning in Virginia. He leaves behind a beautiful wife and three adorable kids, as well as a legacy that has been and no doubt will be still inspiring millions of people, including his own family for years to come.

“The Last Lecture” is a little over an hour but it’s really worth taking a look at. Check it out.

Matthew Broderick is married to Sarah Jessica Parker. Matthew Broderick used to be Mr. Cool Ferris Bueller’s Day Off guy. Matthew Broderick grew up and turned into a total Broadway nerd who is lucky to be married to a cool cat like Sarah Jessica Parker. Sadly though, I’m afraid the fact that he played someone cool in a movie warped his mind so now Matthew Broderick still think he’s Ferris Bueller, this hot guy that can do whatever he wants and get away with it because he’s tricky and cool. He was mistaken.

You see Daily Brew friends, Matthew Broderick was caught cheating on his lovely wife Sarah Jessica Parker with some 25 year old hussie youth counselor that he met at a bar. Not cool Matthew. Not only is it not cool, it’s really skeezy, especially when they paraded around town together, in public for all to see while little Square Peg Sarah Jessica was filming Sex in the City in L.A. um, you know, because she’s cool and sexy enough to make that show a hit. You’re cheating on THAT Matthew?

Look at that picture and tell me he’s good enough for her? I’m not saying she’s the most amazing and beautiful woman in the world, but she could do better than him and he just opened the door and gave her a reason to start lookin.

Matthew Broderick is stupid.

P.S. The home wrecker also has a nick name for Matthew Broderick; “Matty Cakes”. Seriously? You are having a torrid affair with Inspector Gadget and that’s all you could come up with? At least screw around with someone more creative, you are on Broadway for hell’s sake.

Christian Bale went all Batman on his own mom and sister on Sunday and allegedly assaulted them. It’s being speculated that Christian Bale was fighting with his mom and sister about money before the premiere of The Dark Knight and because it was the premiere the cops decided to wait to pick him up because hey, who wants to screw up what was sure to be one of the most packed and amazing premiere’s of all time?

Scotland Yard arrested Christian Bale this morning in his London hotel and he’s somehow considered a flight risk. That’s really weird to me because he’s charged with an assault that happened on Sunday and he’s a flight risk, yet they don’t pick him up until Tuesday? Mmmmmmk.

I love Christian Bale. I’ve loved him since I first saw him in Newsies and from what he sang, I’m pretty sure it’s not his fault he assaulted his own family. Have a read: “So that’s what they call a family, mudder, fadder, daughter, son. Guess everything you heard about is true. So you ain’t got any family? Well, who said you needed one? Ain’tcha glad nobody’s waiting up for you?” Really rips at your heart strings don’t it? The point is, Jack Christian Bale apparently grew up without a mudda or fadder or anyone to look out for him so how is he supposed to know how to act towards a mudda?

All kidding aside, I hope this isn’t true. My fantasies of him don’t have room for assault . . .

P.S. There were all these stories floating around lately about how nice Christian Bale is. He always takes the time to stop and sign autographs and be cool to his fans, so it would be interesting to hear what really happened there.

This is my official plea to celebrities, movie/TV stars if you will, trying their hands (vocal chords) at singing: LEAVE THE SINGING TO SINGERS.

Dear Scarlett Johansson and Hayden Panettiere, I know you are actually decent actors. I have a chick crush on Scarlett because I can’t believe she is my same age and has those kind of acting chops. I’ll watch anything that girl is in. As for Hayden Panettiere, I was first introduced to her in an episode of “Law & Order: SVU” in which she was playing a teenage slut who murdered someone. Now she is on “Heroes” and I think she’s perfect for the role. I obviously like these two women, and that’s why I have to break the news.

Both Scarlett Johansson and Hayden Panettiere have albums coming out. Singing albums, not photo albums which they might actually be good at. When I heard about these albums I was kind of excited because who knows what celebrities can do? However, after listening to songs from each of their albums my heart started to cry salty tears and my eyes started to cry bloody tears and my ears, well they just went deaf.

Don’t believe me? Click here to hear a bit of Scarlette Johansson (it’s actually her) and then click here to hear and SEE Hayden Panettiere’s music video. If you are wondering why you recognize Hayden’s song, it’s because it’s sounds exactly like (and exactly as bas as) Paris Hiltons attempt at singing, another celeb that can’t sing, but she can’t act either and I actually don’t really consider her a celebrity at all.

Do I think this is the worst music I’ve ever heard? Not even close, but it sure as hell isn’t good they just can’t sing like real singers. Now, one very odd case of celeb/singer is Zooey Deschanel (Elf, Failure to Launch, The Happening). Zooey can actually sing. I mean you heard her in Elf right? I love that her voice has this old timey feel to it, it’s really strong and smooth and beautiful. She’s in this band called She and Him, of which she is the “she”. I was also excited to take a listen to her and was disappointed. While her voice is great, and while I usually really like this kind of music, I don’t know WHAT they did to her. It’s very boring and vibratey and just dull music.

So once again, with the utmost respect I can give to these actors for their acting skills, LEAVE THE SINGING TO SINGERS.

I forgot to tell you but . . . Angelina Jolie had more kids this weekend. On Saturday she birthed Bratt Pitts twins and they named them Knox Leon (boy) and Vivienne Marcheline  (girl). I’m going to let you imagine how these new additions in the fight to take over the world are going to play out, but it’s fun to note that people are willing to pay over 11 million bucks for photos of these twins. Sad world.

Nothing says class like the Spears family and they proved that by making Jamie Lynn Spears an epic role model for teen girls everywhere.

In the latest edition of OK! Weekly Magazine Jamie Lynn Spears was pictured with her brand new baby on the cover with the caption “Jamie Lynn’s Baby Maddie! Being a mom is the best feeling in the world!” Now, even though exploding children for your career is always kind of a no no in my book, I understand that we all want to see the celeb babies and that it can really lend some humanity to most stars. But doing this when you are 17 years old? I don’t think so.

See, what’s going on here is a 17 year old girl who through the lifestyle and life lessons given to her by her lovely Spears family members thought she was immortal and had unprotected sex (or she was just 1 of the unlucky 0.0.1% of girls who use birth control and a condom and just had sex for the very first time, yeah right) and got pregnant at 16 years old. I find it odd, though she’s a Spears so maybe I shouldn’t, that she thinks it’s cool to be on the cover of a magazine with her baby.

It’s like saying “Hey girls, you really look up to me because I have my own TV show, but look what happens when you have a baby? You look great and you get on magazine covers and your baby sleeps all the time and you make a boat load of money. Take it from me, Zoey, do it.” Okay that’s a little harsh. But when you are just a kid and little girls DO look up to you, though who knows why, maybe you should be a little more responsible, eh?

The end.

Matthew McConaughey’s girlfriend had a baby last night. That’s so weird that a child of a star will have the same exact birthday of a child of another star, you know, Nicole Kidman’s baby.

Model Camila Alves gave birth to a 7 lb. 4 oz bouncing baby boy. This is the first baby for both of them. No name has been given yet but I’m sure it’s going to be a crazy one like “Mr. Shirtless Worker Outter McConaughey”. Camila looks like she has some class though so maybe they’ll pull out a beautiful name.

You know I liked the guy a lot more before she started living naked, which is odd because people are always more likable in the nude especially ripped tan ones, but this one and his odd smugness just turned me off. Regargless, congrats to this new little family.

Alright, alright.

UPDATE: Although I had high hopes for Matthew McConaughey’s baby to have a normal name. No such luck. This bible loving couple decided to go with Levi Alves McConaughey. Maybe it has nothing to do with the bible, maybe he just named his child after the only piece of clothing he can keep on his body.

Nicole Kidman gave birth to a beautiful 6 pound 7 oz baby girl this morning in Nashville,TN and mom and baby are said to be doing “very well”. That’s all you can hope for eh?

She’s the first baby Kidman has given birth to, although she and Tom Cruise adopted 2 kids previously, and it’s also Keith Urban’s first child.

The new baby’s official name is Sunday Rose Kidman Urban. It just proves that stars can’t get over the weird long names. I could see Rose Urban, or something like that but they just HAD to go with a 4 namer where the first name is something that no one else has.

Naming issues aside, I, as well as the whole world, couldn’t be happier for these two (now 3) cuties.  So congrats to them!

Over the weekend I got the chance to see the new Get Smart staring Steve Carell. There are a lot of reviews out there, mostly not flattering of this movie, so I thought I’d give you my Get Smart Review.

You can’t talk about Get Smart without making a comparison to the 1965 TV series staring Don Adams and Barbara Feldon. In my humble opinion the TV series and the Get Smart movie have 3 things in common. 1. Funny. 2. Clever. 3. I loved it. The story line was actually entertaining, the acting was top notch, if you remember the tv series you catch a few more funny parts and even spot a squeal going on in there.

Get Smart premise from IMDB: Bungling secret agent Maxwell Smart, also known as Agent 86 for CONTROL, is on a mission to battle the forces of their evil crime nemesis known as KAOS with his more-competent partner Agent 99, (whose real name is never revealed) at his side. When the headquarters of U.S. spy agency Control is attacked and the identities of its agents compromised, the Chief has no choice but to promote his ever-eager analyst Maxwell Smart, who has always dreams of working in the field alongside stalwart superstar Agent 23. Smart will do whatever it takes to thwart the latest plot for world domination by KAOS.

A bit about the characters. Steve Carell plays the bumbling, but funny and sometimes clever Maxwell Smart, or Agent 86. Some people are giving him a bad wrap for not being bumbling enough, because Don Adams was pretty over the top when it came to that, he even used a silly accent that Carell didn’t. I loved the series but I thought Carell played the role really well. Come on, you have to have some smarts to be a secret agent, he can’t just be a total moron. Steve Carell was funny, charming and plenty dumb.

Anne Hathaway surprised me by playing a great Agent 99. She was cool and smart and sexy and had all the right moves. She really played it up well and I believed that she could be attracted to Max. But then thats a spoiler alert.

One character that really took me by surprise was Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson, though I’m fairly certain he doesn’t want “The Rock” in his name anymore. He played Agent 23, a big sexy perfect Agent that can do no wrong and also happens to be Max’s best friend. I did not think of “The Rock” once during his performance, he just seemed like a new good up and coming actor.

Additional great roles were played by the really big bad guy, the control Chief, the geek squad guys including Hiro from “Heroes” and there was a small cameo from Bill Murray as Agent 13, the guy that pops up in tree’s, vending machines, any odd place you wouldn’t find someone. There wasn’t enough of him.

Overall Get Smart was just a great movie, and I think you should go see it.

Get Smart gets 4.5/5 LJ Stars