It’s February 29th and you know what that means . . . today doesn’t exist.

No seriously, this isn’t a joke. Today doesn’t really exist, because it’s leap year. But what is leap year?

According to Wikipedia, leap year is a year containing one or more extra days in order to keep the calendar year synchronized with the astronomical or seasonal year. For example, in the Gregorian calendar, February would have 29 days in a leap year instead of the usual 28. Because seasons and astronomical events do not repeat at an exact number of full days, a calendar which had the same number of days in each year would, over time, drift with respect to the event it was supposed to track. By occasionally inserting an additional day or month into the year, the drift can be corrected.

Ohhh so that’s what leap year is for. Yeah . . . nope, I still don’t get it.

Well whatever leap year is, whatever it does, it’s here. Since this day doesn’t officially exist I say it’s a “do whatever you want” say. Steal a car, kiss the first beautiful (or ugly if you swing that way) person you see, smack your arched enemy across the face. Because what are they going to do? Press charges?

If this day doesn’t exist you can go to the judge and say “When did this alleged crime take place?” He/She will say “Why on February 29th” and you can say “There are only 28 days in February! Zing!” And everyone, including the judge will probably stand up and cheer for you as you walk backwards slowly out of the court room.

Take advantage of this people, it’s not going to come back around for another 4 years.

PS My grandparents got married on February 29th, which is great for dudes because they don’t give a crap forget about anniversaries all the time, this way they have only one every 4 years!

This is turning into a baby blog once again, but I guess the gift of life is as important as Paris Hilton getting out of jail or Britney Spears going crazy.

So it looks like Katie Holmes (Cruise) is maybe pregnant with baby number 2. I’d be surprised if it was Tom Cruises baby because the chances of him going temporarily straight again are slim to none. But I digress.

Of course it’s not official, it never is, but sources (who I don’t know, it’s gossip!) say she’s gained about 10 pounds and is probably 2-3 months along in the pregnancy.

Katie Holmes, if you are pregnant, congradulations I know you’ve always wanted a big Christian Scientologist family. If you aren’t, get crackin! Those babies aren’t going to make themselves and we don’t know how good Tom Cruises shelf life is!

Ashlee Simpson went and did stuff. What did she do? Well she got pregnant by and got engaged to none other than that douche bag Pete Wentz.

At a recent signing of her new CD she showed up with a strangely blinged out rock on her left hand and sources say she’s also sporting a little bump in her belly.

In a totally classless ploy to get attention though, Pete Wentz and Ashlee Simpson made a stupid video to tell you they want to make a Bleeper Bleeping baby. Enjoy above.

You are welcome Pete Wentz and Ashlee Simpson. You can thank me later for giving you unmerited publicity.

Jessica Alba a la Deux! For those of you with a lower IQ that’s French for Jessica Alba is having twins! Okay so that’s not an exact translation, but as a person who has not studied French even once for many years, take my word for it.

As Jennifer Lopez was out having her twins Jessica Alba was finding out she’s going to have twins too, possibly on June 8th.

This is especially exciting news for me. Not so much because I care at all about Jessica Alba (kidding hon I love you! BFF’s 4EV-R) but because June 8th is my niece Hannah’s birthday. She’s so cute, when she was little we’d say “Do you know when your birthday is?” and she’d get all excited and say “June eight!” Now she’s going to be *16 this coming June 8th and it scares the crap out of me. Where did the little girl go.

Anyway, I’m not completely sure if this is completely true, but if it is, congrats to Jessica Alba! I hope it all works out because she’s a tiny girl so to be carrying two babies, that’s going to be tough! Good luck!

*That was fair warning for you guys to get off the road that day!

The 80th Annual Academy Awards was last night. As always it went way longer than it had to, and again, as always one movie one way more awards that one movie should win. Let’s take a look at some winners why don’t we?

80th Annual Academy Award Winners (the main ones at least)

Best Picture: “No Country for Old Men”

Lead Actress: Marion Cotillard, “La Vie en Rose”

Lead Actor: Daniel Day-Lewis, “There Will Be Blood”

Supporting Actor: Javier Bardem, “No Country for Old Men”

Supporting Actress: Tilda Swinton, “Michael Clayton”

Best Director: Joel Coen and Ethan Coen, “No Country for Old Men”

Adapted Screenplay: Joel Coen and Ethan Coen, “No Country for Old Men”

Original Screenplay: Diablo Cody, “Juno”

Animated Feature Film: “Ratatouille”

Original Score: “Atonement,” Dario Marianelli

Original Song: “Falling Slowly” from “Once,” Glen Hansard and Marketa Irglova

Documentary Feature: “Taxi to the Dark Side”

Animated Short Film: “Peter & the Wolf”

Visual Effects: “The Golden Compass”

I was really hoping “Juno” would win more Oscars, it was a fantastic movie. I’ve never heard anyone say they didn’t love it, so I was a bit surprised. But congrats to everyone who won an Oscar at the 80th Annual Academy Awards. I know it’s a treat just to be nominated, but lets face it…YOU WON YOU RULE THE WORLD! EAT THAT SUCKERS!

J-Lo, Gigi, Gigli, whatever you want to call her, Jennifer Lopez had twins this morning, early like 1AM. A boy and a girl. No word yet on what their names will be. It would be cool if she named them after her biggest movie hits. They’ll be Anaconda and The Governess. Awe.

They tole People Magazine,  “Jennifer and Marc are delighted, thrilled and over the moon.” Well good for them!

Jennifer Lopez and her husband checked into the North Shore University Hospital in New York on Wednesday and from there proceeded to dig out million dollar baby picture deals and also have a freak out episode about the babies possibly being kidnapped.

These are the first kids for Jennifer Lopez but these will be kids 4 and 5 for Daddy Anthony as he has 3 other kids with 2 different women, one of which he cheated on and left for Jennifer Lopez. I know, dry your tears. It’s like a fairytale isn’t it?

Congrats to Jennifer Lopez and Mark Anthony and their 2 little ones.

No, this isn’t going to be some Earth shattering speech from me. Quite simply, I had a dream and I have to share it with you.

Let night I had a dream that I was at a funeral/wedding (I saw 27 Dresses last night, please don’t see it) in this beautiful but dark auditorium and my nephew was announcing to me that he was gay and I was introduced to his boyfriend (awesome piercings) and it was their wedding but they didn’t know whose funeral it also was. Then I got online to blog about it, (yeah you guys were in it!) and the front page story on every search engine and blog was Britney Spears Died* (but no it wasn’t her funeral I was at).

So my first thought is that I have to blog about it. I start to write how tragic it is that Britney Spears died because I thought she was just getting her life back together and we all had high hopes for her. However, when I started looking it up online again for more details, it was as if it never happened. There was no info on it. So for like the whole rest of the day I was trying to participate in the beautiful homosexual wedding and trying to find information on Britney Spears death.

When I woke up I wasn’t quite sure if my nephew was really gay (I wouldn’t have a problem if he was!) and if Britney Spears was really does (she’s not). Anyway, it was just really odd so I had to share.

*Disclaimer: Just so we are clear BRITNEY SPEARS IS NOT REALLY DEAD. What I described above is simply a morbid dream I had last night and nothing more.

Are you tired of being over weight? Is it embarrassing to try and walk up a flight of stairs wheezing and gasping for breath? Well have I got the diet* for you! The Kirstie Alley Diet for those of us who love to yo-yo.

While my commercial-like opening is a joke, the fact that Kirstie Ally built her own diet program is no joke.  I guess Kirstie Alley was fired as the spokes woman for Jenny Craig (I’ll give you 3 guesses why) so Kirstie decided to develop her own weight loss brand. Yeah, like I’m going to trust anything weight loss related that came from someone who did a whole television show called “Fat Actress”.

According to MSN TV, “Alley, 57, told People that while her experience with Jenny Craig was ‘extraordinary,’ she wants ‘to create something new that will help millions of people end the seemingly never ending fatty-roller coaster ride.’”

My guess is this Kirstie Alley Diet will cost a pretty penny and that you can only join if you promise to get your lifetime pass to Scientoloty-R-Us. Because, you know, she’s a scientologist and they’ll do almost anything to sucker people in there.

No but seriously, I hope this diet thing works out and that Kirstie Alley loses weight and shuts up about fatness already. Most of us in America are fat . . . we don’t want to talk about it anymore.  She is sexy though . . . remember Kirstie Alley on “Cheers”?! Come on people!

*Though I used the word “diet” I don’t actually believe they exist. It’s like a unicorn, good idea but there’s no way it’s real or really works.

The Writers Strike is Over. The writers strike is finally over. It’s about time too.

The Writers Guild of America had been on strike going on for like 14 weeks. That means for 14 weeks hundreds and thousands of people were stuck without jobs, meaning they weren’t getting paid. During this time the economy started to plummet further and people who would usually be holding cameras and microphones and getting people coffee on sets now had to find another temporary job just to keep food on their families table.

No, this strike wasn’t selfish at all, not even a little bit. You know, I’m fine that we had to sit through reruns for three months. I’m fine that we have to wait until next fall to see any new episodes of some of our favorite T.V. shows, it’s just the lack of thought for anyone BUT the writers that bothered me.

Anyway, yay as of almost a week ago it’s over and the writers finally went back to work. Now go write something Writers Guild of America.

By the way, whoever wrote that slogan “Unfair is Unfunny” is a really crappy writer who should maybe stay on strike. ZING!

You may, or may not, have noticed but I haven’t written in a few days. This unfortunate incident was due to simple USER ERROR.

In striving to make The Daily Brew Blog more blogger friendly and more visually stimulating to my captive audience (because I tied you up and put you in my basement?) I accidentally killed it.

By trying to make this transition by my little old self I made a minor mistake. How minor you might ask? I deleted an entire database of blog functionality which not only disabled me from being able to do anything on the admin side but disabled my readers abilities to, well, read.

Lucky for me I am pals with the smartest person on Earth, the Box of Coupons guy. He single handedly figured out what my user error was and quickly jumped on the problem fixing it right away. Daily Brew was dead without him. I’m telling you, the guy is a genius and his site, including his blog, is fantastic. So do me a favor and check it out. And don’t fight, there’s plenty of coupons to go around.

I really shouldn’t be allowed to touch my blog. Thanks for bearing with me through this time of user errorness.