Happy Halloween Brewsters!

Have you ever noticed Halloween is a time of year for guys to show their true colors by dressing up as disgusting things trying to terrify people and for girls to get really slutty but act like they aren’t being slutty? “I’m just a nurse!” she says with nothing but fishnets, a tight, white, low-cut mini dress and no nursing gear in sight? People really use it as an excuse to show their true dirty, slutty colors.

Take Paris Hilton for example. She dressed up as Alice in Wonderland. Awe, how cute. Except she picked the slutty Alice and the only way you can even tell thats what she’s supposed to be is that her slutty dress says “Alice” on it. She was also a sailor, but a slutty sailer and the only way you can tell what she is, well she has a sailor hat on. Then one year she was a cute little lingerie wearing bunny, but a slutty bunny and the only way you could tell what she was, she had bunny ears on! Too bad for her it looks like another blond who looks exactly like her ripped off her costume and looks much better in it. Unless that is her another year, reusing the costume. Shame.

And here is Kate Beckinsale who decided that it would be in her best interest to be a slutty devil. She was already a sexy vampire and a sexy vampire killer in 2 movies but I guess this time she decided to be a devil. Just for the record, she does NOT look good in that wig and should probably rethink wearing it everyday like I’m assuming she will. Hmph.

So whoever you are, whatever you dress up as this Halloween, just thank your lucky stars that for one night out of the year, it’s perfectly okay to run around drunk, binge on candy, and be a big jerk and a total slut bag, because thats who you really are inside.

Me? I’m gonna be a cat, but not a sleezy one, sorry to disappoint. I’ll be wearing my human clothes, cat ears, and probably a collar that says Buttons. I always wanted to name my cat Buttons.

HAPPY HALLOWEEN! BOO

Note: I edited the Duff sisters out of this blog because they weren’t that slutty and replaced them with a slutty Kate Beckinsale.

I told you I’d write when it got interesting, and well I guess it has because while Colorado was napping in the outfield, the Boston Red Sox Swept the 2007 World Series. . .of baseball that is! That means they won 4 out of 4 games in a row.

So for something like 86 years the Boston Red Sox was plagued by the Curse of the Bambino and now they’re kicking Bambino’s butt. You’ve heard of the curse right? You haven’t!?

History lesson from Wikipedia: Prior to the curse, the Boston Red Sox was one of the most successful professional baseball franchises, winning the first ever World Series in 1903, and amassing five World Series titles by 1918. The curse was said to have begun after the Red Sox sold Babe Ruth to the Yankees at the end of 1919. The flip side of the curse was New York’s success—after the sale, the once-lackluster Yankees became one of the most successful franchises in North American professional sports. Talk of the curse as an ongoing phenomenon ended in 2004, at the 100th World Series, when the Red Sox came back from an 0-3 best-of-seven deficit to beat the Yankees.

Now the BoSox have gone and done it again! Now, I don’t like the Red Sox that much, my team is the Anaheim. . .I mean the Los Angeles Angels, but, you have to admit it’s pretty funny they won so easily and just 3 years after they broke the curse. They are on a roll and that’s good for them.

Note: Third baseman Mike Lowell was named MVP of the 2007 World Series. Whoever that is, congratulations Sir. I put his pic above so we could all get to know him a little better.

The Colorado Rockies forgot to show up at Game 1 of the 2007 World Series. Boston Red Sox blew them away and had time for long cat naps during the game.

The starting pitcher for the Rockies was Jeff Francis, who threw like a girl. . .because he is a girl. . .because Francis is a girls name. We would like a pitcher; not a belly itcher.

I’ll write more if it ever gets interesting.

NOTE: My deepest apologies to my female readers. You guys throw MUCH better than Jeff Francis.

I thought I’d take a minute to send my thoughts and prayers to the people in Southern California as the San Diego fire rages on.

The 4 day fire blazing in several counties in Southern California has caused the evacuation of an estimated 320,000 people from their homes and businesses. It’s also been estimated that over 1,300 homes are in ruins, at least 5 people are dead and dozens more are injured including 21 fire fighters in connection with the fires.

Firefighters and volunteers have been working endlessly to stop this fire and provide food, shelter and basic care to those affected by it. It almost seems like there’s not hope in sight.

Not helping this heated situation are the famous Santa Ana winds. They are causing the 16 fires to gain speed and intensity, so much so that it’s been reported that we here in Utah will be smelling and even seeing the smoke from this San Diego fire by tomorrow.

I was in San Diego just over a week ago so this came very much as a shock to me. There are just some very good people there and I really hope that something can happen to bring an end to this soon.

It came out Friday night on The Tonight Show with Jay Leno that Halle Berry doesn’t like Jews. Okay, thats a bit of an exaggeration but you know, it’s the blog biz, thats what we do!

During the taping of the show Friday morning she was showing Jay distorted pictures of herself on a laptop. You know the kind. . .usually on the Macs? A few friends and I tried it a couple weeks ago. Talk about a bitter beer face!

Anyway, in one of the pictures Halle Berry had a long face, big nose. Guess what she said? “Here’s where I look like my Jewish cousin!” Oh! Hey! Come on now! So the reaction of the crowd was total silence and Jay Leno tried to recover by saying, “I’m glad you said that and not me.” Yeah he’s quick.

She asked Jay to take the segment out and he did, they also added a laugh track. . .burn Berry! In Halle Berry’s defense, two things. 1. She’s pregnant at like 50 years old. Pregnant people say all kinds of crazy things, and old people say all kinds of crazy things. Put them together and you have anti-Semitism. 2. Halle Berry has 3 Jewish assistants (Sheesh let my people go Halle) and she was showing them the pictures to decide which ones to show Jay. One of them said, of the same picture “That could be your Jewish cousin!”

I guess it’s like when an African American person says the N word, or a Mexican American says the S word, or when a White American says the C word (Cracker! What were you thinking!?), you can say it if your the race, but if you say it and you aren’t, chances are you’ll get cut. Halle Berry of all people should know that! You know, because she’s pregnant.

Note: Also she’s insane and kisses the floor.

Albus Dumbledore is gay. This is the part that you are supposed to be shocked! But he totally looks straight in this picture though huh?
On Friday night J.K. Rowling revealed to her fans at a Carnegie Hall Q&A that the head master wizard at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, Albus Dumbledore is gay.

The outing came when a young fan asked what was up with Dumbledore and another wizard, Gellert Grindelwald, in book seven, the final book in the series, “Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows.” I haven’t read it but from what I gather they have some sort of rivalry going on.

I guess what happened is, or this is what J.K. Rowling says, that Dumbledore was in love with Grindelwald, but that he had defeated him in a big old fight many years ago.

So everyone gasped at the news, some people were like really freaked out, some people were like “Awesome!” and some people, most I bet, didn’t care at all. I for one support this made up load of crap. Let the fake man rock it like he sees fit. Hopfully people don’t confuse the news of this fictional character with the real dude who plays him, because that would be wrong.

Here is the moral of the story: if you ever have an extremely popular book series, after you are done writing and releasing it, you can make up anything you want in the Q&A with the fans afterwards! You can say “Oh yeah I forgot to add it in the book but Harry and Ron and Hermione totally had a threesome in book six and that explains a bit of tension in book seven.” Could you imagine just totally making crap up.

Also, I think she just did it because a lot of the time, for some reason, Lord of the Rings and Harry Potter are compared all the time and since Frodo and Sam had homosexual undertones J.K. Rowling was probably like “It’s my time!” So there, my geekdom totally came out. Are you happy J.K. Rowling? You totally just outted my geekdom.

First, I apologize for writing so much about Britney Spears but, come on, the girl knows how to make headlines.

Yesterday, after losing her child visitation rights because she brainlessly forgot to tell the right court people her phone number for random drug testing, Britney Spears hopped in her car and totally ran over a photographers foot.

Luckily she was reportedly just leaving a Beverly Hills medical center when this foot catastrophe happened. Cuz you know, that way he can just walk. . .OOPS. . .get carried into the building, because you know, it’s a medical center.

In Britney Spears defense, ask yourself this. What if you were surrounded by dozens of photographers every single day? What if you tried to go to the corner store to get some Cheeto’s milk or just wanted to walk around your candy store block and you could barely walk or see because of the drugs herd of photographers with flashing lights right in your chest face?

The good news is that even though she just drove off from the scene, the photographer didn’t seem to suffer any damage to his foot and walked off with no (obvious) problem and no words.

Drive on Britney Spears, because you have such a great driving record!

I had my doubts and it looks like I was right. Paris Hilton is not a real humanitarian.

Remember when I broke the news that Paris Hilton was going to Rwanda in November to stretch her humanitarian efforts? Well she still is going to do that. . .sort of. However, it’s going to be broad casted on television!

Thats right. Paris Hilton has a new reality show called The Philanthropist and it features her being a do-gooder in Rwanda. I guess she gets props for trying, and bringing this issue to TV which brings it to a wider variety of audience but still, shame.

Paris had this to say about her new reality show, “I love having everything documented. It shows people what everyday life is like for me, how hard I work. There are a lot of misconceptions about me.”

Yeah, like that you love to drink and drive and drink and party and go to jail. People just thought those things cuz you did them a lot, not because it’s who you are. Riiiight.

Whoops I totally forgot to tell you. Don’t be mad K?

As you all probably already know Lindsay Lohan is out from her two month visit at Utah’s Cirque Lodge rehab clinic. She’s been out for like a week, or two.

Since Lindsay Lohan has been out of rehab though it’s come out that she’s totally out of money. Expensive hotel bills, huge parties, lots spend on alcohol and drugs and now a bunch of money wasted spent on a few stints in rehabilitation centers.

Due to these lofty bills it’s been speculated that she can’t even pay her regular bills and can’t afford to live in her own place. One has to assume because of the bad crazy blood between herself and her mom and her dad and her family and her friends, she’s reported to be staying at the home of Tom Gores, the executive producer on her movie I Know Who Killed Me which none of you saw, or me, or anyone on Earth.

Think about it. Rich, RICH old man, father figure to a girl with drug and daddy issues? This will be interesting. But honestly, I hope this all works out for her and she stays clean. I know, if wishes were fishes we’d all have a fry. (What the hell does that mean?!)

Update: I just found out she was seen boozing it up in Park City, Utah over the weekend. What a booze hound. There go all the dang fishes.

In an amazing show of personal responsibility Britney Spears turned herself in last night for a hit and run and driving without a license from an incident in August.

At the L.A. Police Station she was booked, finger printed and photographed before she was free to go in her sunglasses and long turtle neck sweater dress and jacket. Because she’s the queen of hiding.

Unfortunately it’s not that huge of a step as Britney did this because she was ordered by a judge to turn herself in for the incident before an October 25th court appearance for her custody battle with Kevin Federline.

But hey, I’m willing to give Britney Spears credit for this one. It’s like a kid starting to use the potty less be beaten if she doesn’t and getting a cookie if she does. She’s normally not one to do what she’s told but with an actual consequence and a reward of getting to see her kids again, yeah. . .it’s a big deal.

For more on this Britney Spears Hit and Run story check out MSN.com.